Little More
by Angelic Thrall
Summary: Angst, and mild slash. Obi Wan reflects back on when Qui Gon decides to train Anakin, Obi Wan's POV of course.


Little More  
  
Introduction: I've been such a Star Wars fan my entire life, and I figured it was about time I sat down and wrote a fic for it, since I've wrote a fic for everything else I've liked so much. But, sadly, the characters Obi Wan and Qui Gon do not belong to me, as much as I'd like them to. Neither does Anakin, since he is mentioned in here.slightly. Anyway, the idea is somewhat mine, but was inspired by a certain part in the movie. And er.if you don't like the idea of Qui Gon and Obi Wan as a couple, then please don't read this. I happen to think they're adorable ^^ No direct slash, not really anyway, some angst though. And, if I get enough reviews (or enough inspiration) I might do a longer, more pointed fic.  
  
You could have given me two hundred years, and I wouldn't have expected anything. I wouldn't have seen it coming any sooner then when I did, and I would have been just as surprised had I known ahead of time anyway. But still, it wasn't supposed to be so soon, so sudden, without him even bothering to talk it over with me, explain things. Just a simple sentence.  
  
"I will train him then.I take Anakin as my Padawan learner." He was so calm about it, hands placed neatly on the tiny Skywalker's shoulders.  
  
He didn't see the pain in my eyes, didn't notice the expression that came over my face as my head jerked to look at my Master. Brows furred I scowled, confused, hurt and pained by such a tiny phrase. It shouldn't have meant anything, but it did. My heart fluttering, my pulse pounding, I waited, biting my tongue from speaking out loud, wanting to bang my fists against my Master's body, call out to him and scream that he already had his Padawan. Or was I not important anymore? Was this boy, this Anakin so much better then myself? Or was I just a failure to him now.? To stubborn and headstrong to become what he wanted of me.  
  
"An apprentice you have, Qui Gon. Impossible to take on a second." Master Yoda explained calmly, his old eyes looking up at the long haired Jedi. He sounded.just a little amused, I couldn't tell, not from his voice, though the Force trembled beside me. Then again, maybe it was just me trembling.  
  
"The code forbids it." Windu cut in quickly, casting a glance, and I thought maybe it would be to me. Something of reassurance, but instead, it fell steadily on Anakin.  
  
"Obi Wan is ready." Such calmness, perfection in every way, voice never faltering, and yet eyes never catching mine.  
  
I turned my head back around, eyes meeting those of the Jedi Council around me, and I pushed back my feelings. One, two, three, four. My feet moved mechanical, voice rising steadily into the room. "I am ready to face the trials, Master." I would have smiled, had my thoughts not run a muck at the moment, confused by everything. But I calmed myself, breathed in, turned my attention to the wisest of us all, and waited to hear what the Jedi would say.  
  
Yoda turned calmly to me, eyes searching my face for the barest of moments before he spoke up, voice cracking slightly, but merely from age.not emotion. He was pleasant about it, dismissing the very idea easily. I wasn't ready to them. But how funny, that with my arms around my Master as he breathed out his words to train Skywalker, that I would then be declared ready. Can a few days, a few hours, really change someone so much?  
  
I bowed my head. "He is head strong, and has much to learn about the Living Force, but he is capable." So urgent to get rid of me, Master? "There is little more he can learn from me."  
  
My breath caught in my throat, and something beyond pain surged through me.though my neck turned, face titling, eyes hardening in their bitter confusion and hurt to face my Master. This man, this Jedi which I had given everything to, only to be thrown aside for a mere boy. I trembled, and so did the Force, the link breaking as my Master's eyes caught my own gaze. Did it feel it? The hurt that coursed through me, my blind confusion. How could such a boy be more important then myself? 'Have I failed you so much, Master?'  
  
He looked away.  
  
I couldn't hear their words, couldn't feel their thoughts, touch them like I could so easily touch the Jedi close to me. I breathed in, felt the cold rush of air run down my lungs and fill me, trying in vain to calm myself, press against my rushing blood and slow it, travel like liquid into my veins. And then I was moving, bowing low, dark robes falling in a flutter around me as I stood, somehow aware of what I was supposed to do, and then at loss with everything.  
  
Anakin would not be trained, not now anyway. So maybe I had my Master for longer, had his hands to myself, his soul and body to linger again, skin to taste and flesh to crave for. I walked ahead of him as they dismissed us, waiting, letting my thoughts take over, my hands crunched into fists inside the dark robe pockets. And from the depths of my mind, I heard it, his voice. 'You have not failed me, Obi Wan.'  
  
I wish I could believe that, Master.  
*****  
"The boy is dangerous, Master. They all sense it, why can't you?" I knew I was being stubborn, following closely to the taller form, eyes glaring I'm sure. I heard him sigh, and I almost chided myself for being so angry. After all, Qui Gon was only trying to help Anakin..he believed so much that he was the Chosen One.  
  
"Anakin's fate will be decided later, that should be enough for you now." Qui Gon said, eyes sharpening a little and demanding obedience. Obedience..well, if it pleased him. I glanced away, scowling, not wanting to see him, hear him, touch him, feel his soul and mind with my own. Nothing seemed right now.  
  
To my surprise, he chuckled. I turned, casting a quick glance at him almost angrily. What right did he have to be laughing at me? Though I found a smile forming on my lips, twisting them upwards even as I struggled to resist the urge. "Jealous over a boy, my Padawan?"  
  
I huffed, shaking my head a little and turning my head back, eyes searching for the tiny figure of Anakin. There, in the distance, so close to little R2D2. "Did you mean it back there, Master? Is there really nothing more I can learn from you?"  
  
He seemed old all of a sudden, eyes sobering, lips barely smiling. "Get on board now, Obi Wan." A light tone, affection as he lifted a large hand, lightly caressing the side of my faces. Unconsciously, I felt my head tilt to the action.  
  
"Master, I.."  
  
"We'll talk later." Lips brushed my forehead before he stepped back, lowering his hand, fingers lingering it seemed for the barest of moments on my shoulders. And then I stepped back, nodding, finding my feet taking over once more, leading me without my mind even having to command them. They knew which ship to board, where to seat, where to take me.  
  
Still, it troubled me. I had not failed him..he'd told me himself. And still I questioned him, questioned how he could see so much in this Anakin. He was wise, there was no doubt on that, but..maybe he was right, maybe my jealousy really was blinding me. But maybe I could really learn little more from him. 


End file.
